"OSWALD WAS A FAG" Jess did the 'Friday Five' a day late over on her site. I hate those damn things but I like her answers. Nothing much has happened since my last post so I'll take the easy content card too: 1. What do you most want to be remembered for? That depends when exactly the terminal disease kicks in. If I'm happy and surrounded by people I love then I guess just knowing thay they will remember me at all will be enough. If I am bitter and twisted and alone then I'll probably try and take some of you fuckers with me in which case I'd like to be remembered by the news footage. 2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life? I have an outlook on life? How about "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega" 3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year? Not banging a certain someone's head into the pavement until it turned to red mush. 4. What about the past ten years? From 20 to 30? I have no idea. I've done a lot of travelling and a lot of writing. Going out with Jess for four years was probably the single highlight. I had more fun with her in those four years than with anyone else before. Oh. And mastering the ninja rope on 'Worms' 5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say? Never listen to advice. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"MUSKEHOUNDS ARE ALWAYS READY" I am re-reading Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers which is great. I thought I may have missed something when I first read it as a teenager but its exactly as I remember it. The most fun I've had reading in a long time. "Realising that it would be discourteous to rob his friend of the right to kill his man d'Artagnan stood aside and soon had the satisfaction of seeing Cahusac fall to the ground with a sword-thrust in the throat." Bloody awesome. I am also plagued by fuckwits who are unable to read the simplest of signs. Nevermind. Movie stuff: I watched The Warrior last night which overall was something of a disapointment. It looked great but was a little bit feeble. Hopefully I am going to see the new Takeshi Kitano film Dolls this evening. I finally got Jess to sit down and watch Hana-Bi with me. It gets better every time I see it. I think Kitano may be my favourite director at the moment. Should be a fun night. Right - I'm going to go get back to Dumas. Mike is blogging to: the fucking radio

"HOW'S MY LITTLE KUNG FU FIGHTER?" I have been talking with London Soho media types.... Traci Lords came up in conversation a lot. It was an interesting day... Mike is blogging to: nothing

�IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR. ONLY... NOT� Busy couple of days. We are stretched a little thin at work at the moment, which makes the day go that little bit quicker. A tad frustrating though. I hung out with Alan from San Francisco for a while He took Jess to see Bruce Springsteen, which by all accounts was a fun night. Not really my kind of music but the guy played for three hours plus. Been a while since I saw anyone do that. I also got to take a sneak peak at the new Ottakar�s bookstore in Clapham Junction. I worked there for two years but the place is unrecognisable. Still some of the same friendly faces though. Nice to see those guys again. The grand opening is on Saturday and if you live anywhere nearby you should go check it out. They have the �other� Mike Atherton opening the place up. I am convinced they asked him to do it out of spite. Bastards. But seriously go buy some books from them and tell them I sent you. I�ve done a couple of late shifts this week, which has been nice. I am slowly learning to appreciate the benefits of staying in bed for a few hours. In fact just recently I have even had a reason to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Maybe I�ve got the insomnia beaten. So every night this week I see the same old guy walking his dog. We exchange nods and I pet the dog. The poor guy is on his last legs (the dog not the pensioner). He shuffles along behind and the old guy has to wait for him to catch up every now and again but every time they make eye contact his tail springs to life and he wobbles over a little faster. It�s a sweet thing to see if a little melancholy. I figure the average age a dog can get to is 15 human years. This means that if I get a puppy this year I can expect to have around 3 dogs before I die (if I guess I�m going to be around until around 2046). Measuring out your mortality like that is maybe a little morbid but I actually like the idea of knowing how much happiness I can bring before now and the day I choke. Let�s face it � dogs are nothing but happiness. Cats are cool but they don�t have the unadulterated love that a dog will provide. Everyone should have that kind of companionship at least once. What else? I picked up these cool yellow penguin editions from 1938 of �THE WEEK-END BOOK IN TWO VOLUMES�. Here�s the blurb from the inside of the wafer thin dust jacket: This is the famous anthology brought out in 1924 by the Nonesuch Press and since reprinted no less than twenty-seven times. �It is indeed,� said The Observer, �a Baedeker to all anthologies, furnished as it is with comfort and counsel and cocktails, pleasantry and poetry, maps, music and pictures.� It includes Great Poems, State Poems, Hate Poems; Epigrams and Songs; First Aid in Divers Crises, Bird Song at Morning (with beautiful illustrations), Star-Shine at Night (with diagrams), Food and Drink with useful and unusual recipes), The Law and How You Break It, Games, and so on. They are wonderfully quirky books and I�ll probably quote them from time to time. Here�s a tip for the upcoming weekend: �Week-end cookery should be either very quick, a good meal produced in half an hour, or very slow, put on before you go off to tennis or to lazing. However witty the talk, however shady the garden, however original the cottage and its furnishings, it won�t be by these things alone that your week-ends will be judged for repetition, but also by the food you offer.� I hope you are all taking notes. Mike is blogging to: Souljacker by The Eels

"IRISH EYES" A cute Irish Secret Service Agent just PUNCHED me because of that t-shirt and I don't even own one. Life is cruel. Although I kind of liked the human contact... Mike is blogging to: nothing

�NEVER BE CERTAIN OF ANYTHING. IT'S A SIGN OF WEAKNESS� You make a few comments about a place and look what happens. Anyone would think I was personally responsible for making so many sexy goats so freely available. Moving on� Jess reminded me today that my writing has been slowly winding down. I hadn�t noticed but considering that I�ve been conscious on average for 20 hours a day I don�t have a lot of output to show for it. Slacker. I can�t even blame my return to the Punk Planet forums � it�s been quiet on there and apart from a swift love song to Space: 1999 I haven�t posted much yet. It�s been interesting to see how people have changed over the last few weeks though. A lot of new alliances and a lot more petty crap than I remember. Well actually come to think about it every forum I have ever lingered in has been full of petty crap and PP is no exception. What has changed is that people who have no need to be petty have suddenly decided to embrace fuckwittery to their small-undernourished bosoms. People get dumb really quickly. Shame. I try to talk to them and they seem to have developed the exact same mantra � very pod people. Although most of those affected seem to be female so maybe it�s more like The Stepford Wives. Then again their repetitive crap is very Dalek like. Bagsy being Tom Baker to their Davros fixation. Thank you for sending me this: I�m still procrastinating. I have watched more movies this week than in a while which has been fun but I still don�t watch any television. I�ve finally caught up on all my reading but there used to be a time I could juggle all this crap and hold down a job and still find time to fill a notebook or two. I�ll have to keep a closer eye on myself. I�ve dusted the laptop off again so I can blog from other parts of the house. Jess is deep in conversation with DC Mike and answering email from one of her Dutch admirers � popular girl. We need to get together at some point and sort out the logistics of the USA Winter trip. Now her whole Mexico thing is on hold she is at a bit of a loose end. Although oddly enough she is very excited about her impending jury duty. Mexico City has nothing on the South East Crown Court. I�m hoping that we can get to Paris sometime over summer. It�s been too long since I�ve been there. Fun times. We still have a house to sell. We may be renting it now too. Whatever gets us out of here the quickest. Still looking to London Bridge for our new base � that is a change of scenery that we are both desperate for. Speaking of changes� I am slowly getting used to the lack of facial hair but am in two minds about staying this way. The last time I went longer than a week without a beard I was about 17. I�m not at all sure about this face. Alan from San Francisco is in town. It will be good to see him again. Tomorrow he is taking Jess to see Bruce Springsteen so I guess I�ll see him on Wednesday. I�ll take advantage of having the place to myself while Springsteen does his thing � whatever that is. I never really saw the appeal. Way too busy jumping around to Anthrax. I recently got invited to hang out with some friends of theirs so a quick trip up to Glasgow may be in order... I'll keep you posted. But as I have every intention of being in work six hours from now I should make a move... Mike is blogging to: Good Mourning by Alkaline Trio

"FUCK YOUR FATHER... PART II" Submitted by: Mr Spokane Subject: Feedback Comment: Hey you should watch how you cuss out a city and make generalizations and rude remarks. I think you sound like an uneducated person. spokane, Wa I watch how I curse very closely thank you very much. I do it well and I do it often. I will continue to make as many generalisations and rude remarks as I see fit seeing as this is my corner of the interwebby and not yours. Feel free to register your own domain at IFUCKGOATS.COM and defend the backwaters of the world to your heart's content. Although after browsing through a couple of Spokane's online communities I can see why you would pine for the squalor of Athens: Lovely. And I go out of my way to sound uneducated to lure in my fellow idiots. Congratulations on making the grade. Mike is blogging to: Indy punching Nazis on the chin

"FUCK YOUR FATHER IN THE SHOWER AND THEN HAVE A SNACK?" Hmmm seems its time for the idiots to come out to play again: Dear Mr. Traveler I have been to Europe five times and yes I have been to Athens twice. I agree it is polluted, crowded and crazy, I think your comments are idiotic. Greece in my opinion is one of the best destinations in Europe and I felt most of the Greek people were very friendly. You should take your next vacation to Tijauna or Los Angeles and then say Athens is a dump. pleasant travels moron-Greek American-half I'll pass over the bad grammar and nonsense sentence structure for now and concentrate on the content. This poor fucker has been to Athens twice. Maybe he or she has a taste for goats. The conclusion seems to be that because there are worse places in the world than Athens then it should be excused from criticism. I suppose by the same logic that I should be happy to be anally fisted by Robert DeNiro because he is a better actor than Don Johnson or Scott Bakula. Personally I'd rather avoid the whole thing. Been to Europe a whole five times huh? Well I live here so fuck right off. Feel free to keep going back to that shit infested capital of goat rapists because if nothing else it means I'm less likely to bump into you in one of the better parts of the world. And if you do write back please try and clarify that last line. I guess I'm the 'moron' but what the fuck is a Greek-American-half? Is that you? Was one of your parents a goat fucker and the other a cheerleader? I need CLARIFICATION before I can pity you further. As always though - thanks for the email. PS. You may want to make a note of the fact that you can't spell the word 'traveller' or the name 'Tijuana'. Mike is blogging to: noise

"... DONE DIRT CHEAP" I've started archiving a bunch more photographs. Mostly its just a place I can keep all this crap but feel free to have a look. Mike is blogging to: Hayseed Dixie

"ALARM!" I felt rough after the party although I indulged in nothing more than orange juice. I finally got out of the house late in the day to meet Jess and go see Son of the Bride which was excellent. It's been a while since I saw a really good movie that didn't revolve around explosions or mutants. I'd forgotten that the rest of the world was still creating quality cinema. Jess mentions the movie on her website which I don't plug enough. She is coding away at the moment so expect a new look to the design soon. She also seems to be posting around 4am. Hanging around with me so much this week must have rubbed off some of my insomnia. She has also picked up another of my bad habits: Expect her to be looking for a pair of filthy assistants very soon. I am still up and still watching Das Boot. It seems to have started several weeks ago. Watching all those sweaty German's running out of air at the bottom of the Atlantic is making me think I chose the wrong time to shave the beard off. Yes, it's that time of year again. My chin is naked and quite terrified at all the attention its been getting. You need proof: I can feel the fucker growing back already. I must have Viking blood. I also watched Donnie Darko again today which made me go look for axes on ebay. $15 would get me a beaut. I also need tickets for 'Tomahawk' and 'Turbonegro'. These things are hard to prioritise... Got to get back to my poor doomed UBoat. Mike is blogging to: Johnny's happy place

Blech

"BACK TO FORMULA" I'm an old man. All the girls are watching Spiderman. This is a good thing because it means they are no longer playing twister. I am too old to watch young girls wrap each other into knots on the floor. The couple on the sofa saved my retinas by moving into the bathroom and fucking in the sink. One of them may have thrown up afterwards. All they left was a half bottle of wine and a single garden pea. I don't want to know the details. Mike is blogging to: your friendly neighbourhood movie

"LIKE WIPING YOUR ARSE WITH SILK" Interesting day... I met and chatted with a very cool girl from Holland over lunch - Saskia. Here from the Hague for only two days. One of the best things about the job is all the cool people I meet. Like the psychologist from 'Big Brother' - ha. Oh and the Wachowski brothers just came in and bought �300 of martial arts videos. Geeks! All of this makes up for the very famous author that I had to deal with this morning who was a complete arse... Probably no blog updates now until tomorrow as I have a party to attend and maybe co-host... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"I KNOW KUNG FU" Mike is blogging to: nothing

"NO STARS, JUST TALENT" Couple of updates: Mike has added to Growing Up Bastard and Miguel's site now boasts an impressive Flash intro. Makes me want to tear this place down and redo the whole thing again. Oh and I finally got a hold of the book that has Duncan's art on the cover: You guys are making me look lazy. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"..............." Odd day to say the least. I was supposed to go into work today to say hello to James Frey but I got up real late and felt terrible. In fact I kind of collapsed again on the sofa and didn't really surface until about 3pm. Last night's experimentation crushed me. Since then its been good food, good company and the usual virtual melodrama that I had tried to forget about. Two things saddened me today. One was that I had to threaten someone - which as un-Mikeish as it sounds was inescapable. And earlier this evening I found out an ex-friend had got some bad news. I may fall out with people but it doesn't stop me from caring. I even tried to rebuild a bridge this evening but it got destroyed in a well intentioned but very mistaken cross fire. People are so complicated. Anyway... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"USING ALL YOUR MUSCLES EXCEPT THE ONE THAT MATTERS MOST" Hmmm The Matrix Reloaded isn't very good. It looks good. Sometimes. It's a bit of a mess. Maybe you should stop reading if you haven't seen it yet. Everything that worked so well in the first movie is just whored away here. They take all the segments that caused jaws to drop in the first movie and just turned the volume up but there is very little that is innovative about what I saw last night. Simply multiplying the number of Agent Smiths or bullets Neo can stop in mid flight or ships and sentinels or women in leather is just lazy. I wasn't kidding. There really is a stereotypical Frenchman in it that creates cakes that cause orgasm. We also find out that the battered remains of human civilisation are big fans of STOMP and really like to rave. Also no matter how cool your Matrix persona is, once you get back to the real world its all dreads, new age hokum and lesbian poetry readings. Morpheus loves the cultured surrounds of leather chairs, libraries and a soft understated husky voice because once he gets home he has to take his shirt off a lot and make crap speeches at the top of his cracking voice to a cave full of sweaty student types. So what's good? It was nice seeing Anthony Zerbe again. I think his best work is still KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park. His lines and in fact most of the script are just new age babble of the worst kind. Think of the Sphinx character in Mystery Men: "When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you" It's all like that. Terrible because it�s all done so seriously. The sex scene is just so wasted. Imagine what Cronenberg would have done with two androgynous actors whose bodies are riddled with jackplugs. The special effects are bigger and better and after a while quite dull. There's a mention of ghosts and werewolves and when they turn up the albino twin ghosts are quite cool but the werewolves seem to have only one werewolf like ability. The power to drop dead after being shot with silver. This is like me wearing a superman costume but only retaining the ability to drop dead when shown a green rock. Neo now flies like Christopher Reeve without the neck brace but only when he needs a deus ex machina. Why doesn't he fly through the side of the building and pick up the key guy on his own? The mumbo jumbo tells you that that wasn't possible - maybe the most direct path is the one that leads back to yourself or some such shit. He just uses the power to fly away from things. 100 Hugo Weavings are not better than one Hugo Weaving. Running around in a Terminator type future scrap yard is not innovative. The freeway chase is not innovative. Like the fights it is well choreographed, faster and bigger but there is no passion in any of this. No buzz like when you watch the 'I know kung fu' sequence from the first movie. It does build a refreshing argument that Al-Qaeda are maybe just misunderstood. And that save the world type hippies secretly fantasise about being catwalked superheroes and blowing shit up. I could go on and I probably will later but seriously... It's still not as good as Tron Mike is blogging to: nothing

Allo allo I am zee French Matrix bade guy but you can call me Monsieur Kipling as I make exceedinglee good cakes. I like zee French wine and women and swearing and stereotypes. I am alzo zee best theeng in zee movie because my cakes make zee ladiez orgazm...

"LYING THERE I WAS ENVELOPED IN DEEP SILENCE" 3am is the best time for being creative. Maybe this is why so many people die at that hour. It's their last chance to do something. I tried to sleep. I have those blasted cinema tickets for midnight which means I'm only going to get home from 'work' around 3am tomorrow so I know I should try and get to sleep. But I just lie there and think. Stupid brain. Tonight I had a conversation but no matter how good the company is occasionally I just have to slip away and find a keyboard. This is one of the reasons I'm single. The cat seems to have rearranged his sleep patterns around mine. He wakes with me and wanders around the room as I type taking the occasional swing at my leg. He wanders out the door at 4am knowing I'll be around to feed him when he wanders back with first light to shake off the rain. A dog would just sleep by my feet. While it seems that girls just worry that I don't sleep enough. But tonight I have dipped into Bukowski, the Coen brothers, Akutagawa and New York in order to get another 2000 words down for spinejack. I think the tradeoff is probably worth it. Mike is blogging to: tweeting bloody birds and a damp cat

"GROWING UP IS GIVING THESE THINGS UP ONE AT A TIME" Seems all my friends are now publishing better blogs than me. Where as I just whine about movies and shit they are actually analysing their lives and still manage to be entertaining. I just swear a lot. DCMike has just started Growing Up Bastard which is a bloody great name for a blog and the content is damn good too: "I remember Helen, the lady that lived next door used to invite myself and my older brother over to help her pick vegetables from her little garden in her back yard. One day she asked me in for hot chocolate, and there was a man in a recliner type chair who seemed very, very old to me, and possibly dead. It scared me." Knowing Mike he's going to be brutally honest so it's one to bookmark. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" I'm finally off to see the new Matrix movie tomorrow. Midnight show, so I guess there will be a lot of fanboy whooping and applause. Especially if Trinity bends over a lot. Something I wrote about The Matrix was picked up by this site earlier in the week so if you're a rabid fan go check it out but be aware its littered with spoilers. Richard sent me a Matrix related link to check out which made me laugh out loud for a number of reasons. Here's one of the 50 Reasons to Reject The Matrix: 27. The Gaytrix Hollywood's homophobia never fails to astound me. First, I applauded the romance between the two male characters, Neo and Trinity. Then I found later that, because of demands by Keanu Reeves, Trinity was actually played by a woman in shorthair. (If you look closely in certain scenes of the film, you can make out breasts.) Where were the protests? Gotta go send some email and then get to work... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"...but even funnier was watching Andy make an even bigger mess of it than you..." Cheers Stu Mike is blogging to: nothing

"FLIPPER" Military dolphin: Too depressing to think about at this time of night/morning... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"PEOPLE FIND THE BIBLE OBTUSE...EVEN HOKEY" Duncan's blog now has a counter so go make it spin. You'll get to see cool stuff like this: Still one of the best things on the interwebby. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"THAT'S NO MOON" I was supposed to get a lot done today but I slept in until 11am then had to get my arse out of the house because I had an appointment with some home-made red dragon pie and the next thing you know I'm watching international space station footage on the IMAX at Waterloo. Busy day but not quite what I'd intended. Fun though. For a geek like me the documentary alone was awesome but add state of the art 3D and you've got one happy Mikey. Other stuff I should mention... My friend Shannon has started The South London Reading Group and is looking for new members. They're kicking off with William Gibson's Pattern Recognition which straight away lifts it above the usual idiots talking about Captain Crapola's fucking Violin or whatever. Get in touch with her. Jessa from Bookslut has added Kathy Acker's My Mother: Demonology to my fledgling list of cult fiction along with the line "People who are scared of Kathy Acker are pussies." That is going to get printed out and put right next to her recommendation. In the Bookslut blog today she also calls Dave Eggers a prick. She fucking rules. I have to go tinker with someone else's blog now but I'll be back later. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"TWO THUMBS UP" I am doing research for Spinejack. Kind of. I am also planning stuff. And listening to beautiful music. I am ok. I write one spleen vented entry and I get an inbox full of worried faces. I'm fine. Sweet of you to notice though and odd to note that so many of you are reading this in 'real-time'. DCMike led the charge of course. Heart of gold and yet still retains the ability to fist you verbally when necessary. My kind of asshole. Mike is blogging to: Michael Kamen

"IT'S RAINING MEN" Less grumpy now. Maybe I'm just droping paint on the neighbours. I'm probably still saying twat a lot though. Fuzzy warm human company always mellows me out. I still wish a lot of people dead though. I prayed for a plane crash this evening. Even did the whole 'sign of the cross' thing at either end to make it OFFICIAL. It's now a fully sanctioned prayer and is as we speak (type/read) sitting in God's prey-mail intray. If a loved one dies in a mid air collision in the next few weeks then its all my fault. Sorry. Nothing personal. I was just hoping to get my own flight to NYC reduced. Nothing like raining, burning, screaming bodies to make the airlines think twice about overcharging. Stop looking at me like that. I'm poor. This is why people give me cool free stuff. Like yesterday I got an advance copy of 28 Days Later on DVD. Nice. Beautiful film and although most of the extras are crap there is a nice sequence on a deserted train that adds a little to the movie. Seeing the actors talk about being all alone while very real London traffic whisks by in the background is also worth a look. Eye gouging thumbs is still the best bit though. In retrospect I think Dog Soldiers may actually have the edge on it. This maybe because they use the word 'twat' a lot though. I have decided not to bother with the sleep thing tonight as I have PLANS to carry out. I am not turning on the annoying instant messaging gizmo either because I have enough distractions. Feel free to email me. Mike is blogging to: Michael Kamen

"WINTER KILLS" I wrote that last entry a few hours ago. HOURS. It's taken me that long to fight my way back on the PC. My mood is about the same. I want to live here: I'd get to see things like this: Instead I live in a PETTY LITTLE HELL that is slowly driving me nuts. I need a new outlet. If I had a gun I'd be on the roof now picking off my idiot neighbours and screaming "DIE TWAT DIE" at the top of my lungs. Instead I have a keyboard so I get to type it instead. I type very loudly. I break a lot of keyboards. And I love the word TWAT. Mike is blogging to: Cock sucker's ball by Frank Zappa

"FUCK IT" Ok. Fucking foul mood time. I may not post this later depending on whether I can lighten up or not. I guess if you're reading this then I'm still fuming. Fuck. I'm listening to Frank Zappa. Zappa always makes me smile. He's singing about prunes now. Funny dead bastard. Fucking women. Sometimes the idea of getting on a plane is just too inviting. There is a town called Sitka in Alaska that I want to visit. Anchorge looks awesome too. Especially Spenard. Time for more research I think... Mike is blogging to: Frank Zappa via his clie

"I'D HOPED SCOTT WOULD LOOK UP TO ME, RUN THE BUSINESS OF THE FAMILY, HEAD AN EVIL EMPIRE..." Poor Duncan's parents. "Hey folks! This is Anu, a crazy Finnish girl I just met and am moving to Finland with... oh hang on... we're getting married... oh yeah... and we're off to live in Ethiopia but don't worry you can read all about it on my blog." "Don't worry." Says Bruce. "I may have fallen in love too and left the roost to be a SUPERTEACHER but Russell and I are not going to fling ourselves halfway across the globe are we? Russell? Russell?" PAUSE "Ah he seems to have buggered off to Australasia. But don't worry he too has a blog so it'll be just like he's still upstairs in his room really...." Mike is blogging to: Bobby Conn

"HELP!" Last night was my first real social evening with my new colleagues. I've been out with a couple of them before and at most a gang of six but last night was to say goodbye to Rosie who is leaving for better things so there was a pile of us. Only known Rosie a few months but she's very cool and it's a shame she's leaving. Good for her though because she gets to travel. Being booksellers we are very lazy and settled right across the road in the bar under the Phoenix theatre. Willy Russell above and a bunch of us below. What would be the collective term for a group of booksellers? A 'proof' of booksellers? Nah... How about a 'bastard' of booksellers, That's better. Anyway, it was a good evening. I was introduced to non-alcohlic beer for the first time which I guess was an oversight on my part. Beats swigging down 25 glasses of orange juice though. Spoke a lot to Sean - my new Welsh buddy - and set in motion our PLANS for a new kick arse cult fiction section. Not a single bookshop in central London has what I would describe as a decent cult fiction section so we are going to make the area our own. We are going to OWN cult fiction in London. I thought maybe some of you guys would like to help... I'm a pretty well-read fucker but I'm always on the lookout for something new and offbeat. I'm not going to bother even trying to define the term 'cult'. Just send me the name of something that not many people have read yet and gets you moist or angry or hard or makes you want to rip the crap out of people's hands and scream "WHY AREN'T YOU READING THIS, YOU DUMB FUCK?" That should cover it... This morning I'm listening to Johnny Cash. What a fucking heartbreaker about June Carter Cash. Fuck. Last night someone told me who Justin Timberlake is. I've forgotten again now but I know he's something EVIL. Not good EVIL like Zodiac Mindwarp but lousy EVIL like a really big telephone bill. People really love mediocrity don't they? Time for some Van Halen I think - if nothing else it'll make the customers jump... Mike is blogging to: rain

"HE WROTE WHAT ABOUT ME?" Did you know your counter just topped 20,000? I've been trying to ignore that. The last thing I need is an audience... Tonight I am feeling PROFOUND. Inspiration ignores those who dream in favour of those who suffer. This is why I don't sleep. I think I know what I am finally going to do with spinejack after it crashed and burned in such a friend-splattering way. EVIL will be crushed beneath its boots. Stay tuned for further updates... Mike is blogging to: Mr Cash

"JAMES JOYCE IS FUCKING MY SISTER!" Hang onto your hats... I left work this evening with no plans. I was due to meet up with Jess because she just finished her final exam and I thought we'd grab a coffee and maybe some food. As I'm walking out of work I bump into Simon who I used to work with in Borders and haven't seen since I left. He's on his way to see 'Therapy?' and I begin to kick myself because although I know they were about to tour I hadn't realised that they were kicking off in London so soon. I let Simon know that I'm going to try and blag some tickets and maybe see him in there. Quick call to Jess and she's up for it too. Awesome. Game on and all that. Now the only problem is that the gig is sold out and the touts want �35 a pop for the tickets. Fuck. So I hang back and select a reasonable looking tout. First guy I see practically still has the needle in his eyeball and I try not to give too much money to junkies. Second guy has way too many knife wounds to his face. Third guy is the more traditional London wideboy and I spark up a conversation. Guy's name is Vince and he's a top bloke and before long I have two tickets and for just a couple of quid more than the original price. Takes Jess 30 minutes to get there so I hang with Vince and he gives me his number. Now all London gigs are open to me at 'friend' prices. Nice. Inside the Mean Fiddler we pick a spot with a good view of the support guys leaving the stage. I ask the guy next to me if they were any good and this leads to my second new friend of the night then it's off to hunt food. That's when I stumble into Simon and his mob and get invited to their vantage point. Grab Jess and some nibbles and we have a great view. Seeing as I'm still battered from Alkaline Trio I don't even think of going near the pit. I've been watching Therapy? kick their shit for over ten years now and I knew the place was going to explode. Simon and his mates descend downstairs as the lights dim leaving us the 'old people' seats. I offer mine to a girl who declines but askes me if the tattooed hairy fuckers walking on stage are the band. I tell her that they are and that she's in for a treat and have a quick chat with her friend before the fun begins. Therapy? live are ALWAYS awesome - even when very drunk. But tonight they were so tight - best gig I've seen them do in years and I've seen them a lot. The floor was one big pit and the crowd were fucking rabid. The new drummer was just so pleased to be there - you should have seen this guy's grin... excellent. Anyway the gig is fucking great. Cut to post show banter with the guy and girl from earlier who are now sporting backstage passes. Turns out they work for the band's new publishers and within five minutes I'm chatting to the band's manager and five minutes after that Jess and I are sporting our own aftershow passes: Awesome. So we just got back in from hanging with the guys from Therapy? and it was very fucking cool. I've been watching these guys from the crowd for ages now and not once met them so tonight was just great. Fanboy fucking heaven. Jess was very cynical of the whole thing as she's not such a sucker for these guys as I am but even her almost-ex-student heart was melted by the handshake and jovial Irish banter of Andy Cairns. And the best bit is the whole evening was unplanned and just surfed in on a combination of coincidence and my blagging skills. Ha! Mike is blogging to: you have to ask?

"LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!" Stupid gullible bastards: "Private Jessica Lynch became an icon of the war, and the story of her capture by the Iraqis and her rescue by US special forces became one of the great patriotic moments of the conflict. But her story is one of the most stunning pieces of news management ever conceived. Private Lynch, a 19-year-old army clerk from Palestine, West Virginia, was captured when her company took a wrong turning just outside Nasiriya and was ambushed. Nine of her comrades were killed and Private Lynch was taken to the local hospital, which at the time was swarming with Fedayeen. Eight days later US special forces stormed the hospital, capturing the "dramatic" events on a night vision camera. They were said to have come under fire from inside and outside the building, but they made it to Lynch and whisked her away by helicopter. Reports claimed that she had stab and bullet wounds and that she had been slapped about on her hospital bed and interrogated. But Iraqi doctors in Nasiriya say they provided the best treatment they could for the soldier in the midst of war. She was assigned the only specialist bed in the hospital and one of only two nurses on the floor. "I examined her, I saw she had a broken arm, a broken thigh and a dislocated ankle," said Dr Harith a-Houssona, who looked after her. "There was no [sign of] shooting, no bullet inside her body, no stab wound - only road traffic accident. They want to distort the picture. I don't know why they think there is some benefit in saying she has a bullet injury." Witnesses told us that the special forces knew that the Iraqi military had fled a day before they swooped on the hospital. "We were surprised. Why do this? There was no military, there were no soldiers in the hospital," said Dr Anmar Uday, who worked at the hospital. "It was like a Hollywood film. They cried 'go, go, go', with guns and blanks without bullets, blanks and the sound of explosions. They made a show for the American attack on the hospital - action movies like Sylvester Stallone or Jackie Chan." There was one more twist. Two days before the snatch squad arrived, Harith had arranged to deliver Jessica to the Americans in an ambulance. But as the ambulance, with Private Lynch inside, approached a checkpoint American troops opened fire, forcing it to flee back to the hospital. The Americans had almost killed their prize catch. When footage of the rescue was released, General Vincent Brooks, US spokesman in Doha, said: "Some brave souls put their lives on the line to make this happen, loyal to a creed that they know that they'll never leave a fallen comrade." The American strategy was to ensure the right television footage by using embedded reporters and images from their own cameras, editing the film themselves. The Pentagon had been influenced by Hollywood producers of reality TV and action movies, notably the man behind Black Hawk Down, Jerry Bruckheimer. Bruckheimer advised the Pentagon on the primetime television series "Profiles from the Front Line", that followed US forces in Afghanistan in 2001. That approached was taken on and developed on the field of battle in Iraq. As for Private Lynch, her status as cult hero is stronger than ever. Internet auction sites list Jessica Lynch items, from an oil painting with an opening bid of $200 to a $5 "America Loves Jessica Lynch" fridge magnet. But doctors now say she has no recollection of the whole episode and probably never will." Fridge magnets??? I despair... I really do. Mike is blogging to: The Byrds

RIDDLE ME THIS DCMike - you really are an asshole but seeing as you took the trouble to read AND answer these DUMBASS questions and then SEND them to me when I have BETTER things to do I'll take a big bite out of your soggy biscuit: 1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? This question implies that I sleep. Sleep is only for losers and shoesalesmen and girls that I have exhausted. 2. GOLD OR SILVER? You can't hurt werewolves with your bling-bling 3. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? The second X Men movie. I refuse to call it X2 or whatever shit they peddled it under to you yanks. 4. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? This question implies that I watch TV. Stuff I own and therefore does not inflict moronic advertising at me includes Twin Peaks, Ultraviolet and The Kingdom. You get the idea. 5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Coffee. 6. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? Colonel Mustard and a candle stick. Or maybe a 'television personality'. 7. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? Not without the aid of scissors. 8. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? The stupidity of many coupled with the drive of a few 9. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Just scroll the fuck back. Someone asked me that one already. 10. BEACH, CITY OR COUNTRY? City everytime. The country is just the place where the City will get to when it is good and ready and the beach is the place where idiots get eaten by sharks. 11. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS? People cooking dead animals. Dead fox. The perfume wake of Friday night fuckwit women tottering around on high heels as they fall out of their tops. 12. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. Snow covers up the filth and makes things look purty. 13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Something overpriced and vegan. 14. BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN? I worked in a cinema. I know what they do to the popcorn. I'll pass on all three. 15. FAVORITE COLOR? Well for a start it's spelled 'colour' my colonial dimwit. Who makes these questions up? I dunno... pink? 16. FAVORITE CAR OR VEHICLE? Thunderbird 2 or an Eagle from Space 1999. Cars suck and I crash them on principle. 17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING? Fried mushrooms. 18. TRUE LOVE? Oh yeah - I keep chasing that one. It wears a little red rain coat and splashes through the streets of Venice. 19. FAVORITE FLOWER? Favourite flower? I dunno. Does a Triffid count? How about the pod things from Invasion of the Body Snatchers? 20. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE? DC Mike wrote "As long as it took me to buy them each a new car" which I thought was very sweet. Seeing as I don't do the lottery as its nothing but a retro tax on the poor I guess this question isn't aimed at me. If you bought me a ticket and I won? I don't know. Four minutes? How many people is the question referring to? What if they don't answer the phone? This quiz is flawed, Mike. Flawed. 21. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK? Fizzy. No smart cracks that time. 22. WHAT COLOR IS IN YOUR BATHROOM? White but slowly decays into something not so white. 23. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? More importantly - how many fucking dumb questions are there left? Oh. Two. 24. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? Retire and die. This also implies I have a career. Ha. I'm a full-time Mike and intend to keep at it for a while yet. 25. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Juggle what? Time? Like a Time Lord? Like The Doctor? Mike, this is getting tedious... 26. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Oh for fuck's sake! Sunday - because idiots suffer religion while I look at hard core pornography. Involving nuns. 27. RED OR WHITE WINE? I don't drink. Whichever gets the girly drunk I guess. 28. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? "Jess, what did I do for my last birthday?" "I don't remember. Do you not remember?" "No." "I bought you presents. Do you remember the year before when we forgot about your birthday altogether? Hey... what are you typing?" 29. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? Yes. It says "In the event of accident go rip DCMike's liver out. His middle name is Joseph". 30. What is your favorite type of music? The loud type. Like Magnum's shirt 31. WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Everyone. Seeing as I never sent it out. You see Mike, I don't waste people's time like this. You should feel ashamed. You AOL whore of a timekiller you. Mike is blogging to: the cooking of pie

"PS" I forgot to say that if any of you guys and gals outside of London wanna come and see the 'Black Flag' thing and need a place to crash then drop me a line and we'll have a TV PARTY! Mike is blogging to: It hurts! It hurts!

"BACKSEAT EDUCATION" Note to self: The next time you bump into former Lebanon hostage and all round Man of God, Terry Waite, try not to be reading a book entitled Get Your Cock Out. Curse you Zodiac Mindwarp - you haunt me still... Hello to Rebecca and all her friends from Pink Hat. Thanks for dropping by. Of course I read your blog! Good luck with the Sundance stuff - sounds fun. Today was pretty good. I'm not as sore and work was good as usual. I'm going to be helping out on a project that I may throw open to some of you guys too so life is good. I also had a lot of cool email from a lot of cool people. Right now I have RESEARCH to undertake but no doubt I'll have plenty of crap to post later... Thats all for now. Mike is blogging to: weird Japanese noise

"I NEED YOU TO SHOW UP AT THE SHOW" "And now for this: OK. This is a pretty massive undertaking but we�re going for it. You remember the Rise Above: 24 Black Songs to Benefit the West Memphis Three album that we did last year. We did some shows at the end of last year with that material. Thanks to the generosity of the audiences, we were able to send the West Memphis Three Defense Fund ten thousand dollars. We had a great time playing those songs live and the audience was into it too so we have decided to take it worldwide. We will be doing several dates starting on June 01. There�s a solid month in America for sure and the dates are being booked as I write this. From there we go to Europe and as it looks now, Australia will be included. For the US shows, none other than the man himself, Mr. Keith Morris, the original singer in Black Flag the leader of the Circle Jerks will be joining us. When you hear him sing these songs�whoa. We did an instore appearance last year with Keith starting the set out and when Keith and the boys went into Gimmie Gimmie, I damn nearly wept. Keith did all but one of the shows with us last year and he was amazing. So, there�s a ton to be done to pull this off. The first show is in less than three weeks. We will be ready with the music, the boys are amped and ready to hit the rehearsal room. We will be learning songs that are not featured on the record. Last year we were playing Can�t Decide, Clocked In and Don�t Care and they sounded great. I have to think we�ll be learning some more songs for the tour. The hard part is getting all the details hammered out. There�s a lot of press to be done and countless other things. Road manager Mike Curtis has been working his ass off getting things together. This week the press release goes out and we�ll see if any of the press types want to write about it. This is for us to obsess and worry about and we�ll do what it takes. Here�s what I need from you. I need you to show up to these shows. Flat out. All the money we make goes to the West Memphis Three Defense Fund and right now things are at a very interesting place in the case. DNA evidence from the case that the defense never had the budget to test the first time around is now being tested. Now we�re onto something. But, this testing isn�t cheap and that�s where the money is going. I need you to show up at the show. I need you to tell a friend. That�s what I need. I need these shows packed out and the house rockin�. From our side of things, I want to make this absolutely clear: We are not going to be casually shuffling through these songs like it�s some oldies show and you�ll be kind of into it because everyone�s hearts were in the right place. We are a trained assault unit. We are going to fuck you up with this music. This is not a Black Flag reunion. Greg Ginn and Chuck Dukowski wrote some of the best songs ever and we are hell bent on rendering them as best we can. If we didn�t know for sure that the set was bomb proof, we wouldn�t be out all summer wasting everyone�s time. This is a one time, one time only tour. We�re not looking to cross over to some new audience by playing someone else�s music or cash in on some dubious claim to fame. We didn�t write any of these songs. On this tour, we are a cover band. I should add that when I say cover, I mean you better take cover when we hit stage because we�re not fucking around. I think I have made myself clear on this point. Hey you know what? The DNA evidence might come back inconclusive and it none of this will have made a difference. This was a botched case from the beginning. Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley didn�t get a fair day in court and that�s not right and if you�re down with this program then you�re standing up for justice. They�ve been hanging out in prison for ten years and all you have to do is come to the show and have a great time as you know you will and you will have made a huge difference to three people who have absolutely no recourse now other than to depend on the will of good people to do the right thing. And that would be you, right? Please join us this summer. Please don�t respond to this letter. The next two and a half weeks will be very busy and there�s no time to answer any questions. There�s nothing to ask on this one. Anyone who has their own WM3 Group in their town, make some fliers for the show and get the word out. For dates, locations and other information for these shows, please go to our website. If you don�t see your city, don�t write us about it. Right now there�s no time to answer any questions. Myself and the staff here are going to be wall-to-wall on this thing until the band heads out so please understand. Any shows that come in will be posted immediately. Get ready to rock. For anyone who received this newsletter and are not aware of what I have been talking about, please go to www.WM3.org for more information. Thank you. --Henry Rollins" Mike is blogging to: nothing

"HOLY FUCK" I just got an email from Henry Rollins saying that he's taking the Black Flag record 'Rise Above' on tour worldwide. The shows are due to start in the states in 3 weeks and from there Europe and Oz. I kicked myself when I heard about the shows he did in SF a while ago and this has got me pretty damn excited. I'll post the email up here later when I get home but just wanted to jabber about this right now... The whole thing is for the West Memphis Three charity so even if you dislike Mr Rollins for his dodgy TV appearances and think little of his Rollins Band stuff these days you should still try and get to these shows. Disagree if you like... but fuck you too :) More on this later... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"JUST ONE WORD? HARMLESS?" After letting Jess loose on the machine with a bunch of different kinds of IM software she seems to have settled on Trillian. I've seen it in action while she chats to assholes in DC and idiots in Brighton and it seems to work without rendering the machine a fuckwit. If you are still using AIM I'd suggest you ditch it for this. You get to use your AIM service (or ICQ or whatever) without having all the bloated shit that goes with it. This means I'll be available under my old AIM name of Pandagrin so feel free to get in touch if you see me pop up in one of your windows. Just don't ask me what I'm wearing - a pair of glasses and a smile is the only answer you'll get. Mike is blogging to: Alkaline Trio

"YOU CAN FEEL IT WHEN YOU GO TO WORK..." Reason I love my Sony Clie # 409: I get to watch The Matrix on the tube. Mike is blogging to: AC/DC

"WE GO WEST, PAST THE CHEESE FACTORIES, WHERE THE AIR IS FRESH, THE SKY IS BIG, AND A MAN CAN STILL KILL HIS DINNER WITH HIS CAR" So the proposed US trip for the end of the year... I've been wanting to get back to New York since 2000: so I figure two or three days there. Then down to Washington DC where with a bit of luck Mike will throw me down the steps from The Exorcist: Couple of days there plus maybe a trip to Baltimore to take in the stomping grounds of John Waters, Divine and Todd the Evil Moderator. Oh and I get to shop in Atomic Books: Then a fling across the country to play in the bay for a week or so. That's the bare bones of the trip so far. Mike is blogging to: The Simpsons

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL" My friend the alltogethertootalented Miguel now has a website. While he has been mastering html I have been taking photos of the cat. Other talented people have also been in touch recently. Doc's band Eighty Six has a couple of new songs ready for you here. Enjoy. The dutch translator of Encyclopaedia of Snow also got in touch which was great as I am all set to review that book for the next issue of Bookslut. Sweet email from beautiful Cork too. Scary postcard from Oz. Large parcel from Baltimore. Oh and a complaint from Ethiopia that my graphics take too long to load so I'll try and remember that. I also want to hook up with some London bloggers for coffee but more on that later... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"IN FRENCH SHE WOULD BE CALLED "LA RENARDE" AND SHE WOULD BE HUNTED WITH ONLY HER CUNNING TO PROTECT HER" This little guy in the garden: has helped me to forget about the dead one I had to deal with last month. Sweet. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"IT'S GOOD TO BE INSURED. AT LEAST IT CHEERS YOU UP" I'm getting old. I feel like my ribs have been repeatedly elbowed and kicked. Oh that's right... the gig... Ouch. Slow movements today. Even drinking coffee hurts. I can still type though. Just. Seeing as Jude and Chris of Smoke were kind enough to add my site to their list of places where their zine is featured I penned a permanent piece for them here. Now when Smoke fans wander in they can click on the link to the right without having to read all my other crap. Like me moaning about the fact that I fought the pit and the pit won. Bugger. Mike is blogging to: Wings of Desire

"I DRAGGED THIS LAKE..." Did I mention that the Alkaline Trio gig was fucking awesome? The ULU is nice and tight and the guys were on better form than last year. They seemed to be testing out most of the new stuff but by the time they got around to 'Crawl' the place was exploding. They hung around afterwards which was very cool and I grabbed a few words with them. Nice guys. Back in September at the Astoria... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"THE IN CROWD" Some observations: 1. My friend Mike is very photogenic. 2. He wishes he were here. 3. Facial hair being the only hair on your body is a trifle weird. 4. The only mullet at a Murphy's Law gig must be worth a prize. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"KONICHIWA" Sony's newly-developed small biped entertainment robots SDR-4X II show their dancing ability at Robodex 2003, a robot exposition, in Yokohama. Ok. So where the fuck is my robot exposition? How come all we get is the Ideal fucking Home Show? This country sucks. When we get our arses kicked by Japanese robots in a few years from now I'm going to rush into the streets with all my manga and Shonen Knife records and demand to be made Overlord of Wandsworth. They will respect my awesome knowledge of Sonny Chiba movies. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"TELEPHONE CALL? THAT'S COMMUNICATION WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD. DOCTOR'S DISCRETION" I love the interwebby. This site and a few other places I hang has helped me meet a lot of cool people. Mostly the transistion from interweeble friend to phone calls and coffee is quick but there are still a number of you that I only know through strange screen names and emails. It's always a shock to the virtual system when one of you long term 2D types suddenly becomes corporal. This is a long winded trail to the fact that I just got off the phone with DC Mike. There are a number of things I had never realised about Mike. 1. He has a voice. 2. He has an American accent. 3. He doesn't laugh like SATAN 4. He smokes too much. 5. He should REALLY come to London. In retrospect this now seems a tad obvious. Anyway - one of the best international phone calls I ever had the pleasure of taking. Speakerphone next time though - I just spent an hour detailing the other side of the conversation to Jessop. In conclusion: we are so heading to DC before the end of the year. That means we get to fuck with Todd too. I wonder if we can fit Rainey into a suitcase? Anyway... Fun night. PS I got my Matrix tickets too. Midnight show of the 21st. All I need now is Herr Kobra to ring me. C'mon fucker where are you? PPS Jester went on a drive by blogging rampage... they are still pulling bodies from off the monitors. Mike is blogging to: Mr Manson's new album

"SIZEMORE SATURDAY SIX" 1. Do you have a middle name? Yes. In fact I could answer five of these questions with a simple 'yes' or 'no'. But then I'd be a wanker right? So. My middle name is Bentley. It was actually my grandfather's first name. I only have one clear memory of him but it's a good one. I have another 'name' too. Being raised a good Roman Catholic I also have a confirmation name. When asked by a man in a dress to pick a saint's name I was all for St George. This was all to do with killing dragons and nothing to do with national pride. These days of course I'd be rooting for the dragon. So there you have it. Mikey Bentley George Atherton Sizemore. Take your pick. 2. Have you ever lost a fight? Several I would think. The last big one was in Teddington or Twickenham around '94 or '95 when an ex-soldier took offence at something painted on my very-metal leather jacket. I'd been to a movie fest of some kind and met Jim Van Bebber (director of the classic My Sweet Satan and Deadbeat by Dawn) and he had scrawled the slogan VIOLENCE IS ART across my bootleg videos. Thinking this was very cool I straightaway painted it on my jacket (I've still got it somewhere - it's also signed by a bunch of people like Faith No More - ha). Anyway - this barrel chested guy read it and started one of those arguments with only one outcome. There was a lot of shouting about the Falklands and 'real' violence and how sick he was of 'stupid fucking students' and then BAM hello wall, hello pavement, hello boots. Next. 3. Do you want a new girlfriend? It may be better to ask if a new girlfriend would want me. I like the idea. I like my current lifestyle quite a lot. Hmmm. I guess I do. Maybe I should be asking people out more. I kind of suck at the starting relationships crap though. I think I had probably been going out with Jess for around six months before I noticed she fancied me. I'm real slow. 4. Are there things you don�t talk about on this website? Plenty. Like how right now this very minute my mum is in a hospital bed on the other side of the country. If she's still alive. Or the whole Brey thing, which still haunts me somewhat but only about five people in total know anything about. I also try not to land people in shit so sometimes I have to be a little cautious. Not that I don't trust you beautiful people or anything. 5. What is the worst thing about not sleeping? Not dreaming. Although last night I seem to have had my very first insomnia based hallucination so maybe when these kick in properly they'll be a better option anyway. A giant transparent moth was crawling over the ceiling. It was very real and very creepy and then kind of faded away or maybe it melted into the wall. After that I actually got quite a few hours sleep. It reminded me of From Beyond. Do you remember that? That movie and Re-Animator were all I lived on as a kid. 6. Would you? Of course. I try most things at least once. Some things I'll even do more than once. That was painless. I didn't even have to mention eating puke out of that urinal in Liverpool. Mike is blogging to: Pretty in Pink by Social Distortion

"IN THE GRAND DESIGN, WOMEN WERE DEFINITELY DRAWN FROM A DIFFERENT SET OF BLUEPRINTS" As usual it took unexpected email to break my mood: Wow Mike Wow. Long time reader first time mailer. One thing I�ve noticed is that for over a year now you�ve avoided those Friday Five questionnaires that most other bloggers fool with at some point. I respect you for that. It did not stop me however from creating the following Sizemore Saturday Six as I thought you may appreciate more personal intrusions: 1. Do you have a middle name? 2. Have you ever lost a fight? 3. Do you want a new girlfriend? 4. Are there things you don�t talk about on this website? 5. What is the worst thing about not sleeping? 6. Would you? Maybe other people can send questions into you every Saturday. Have fun at the gig. I saw Alkaline Trio last year in London. Were you there? Snoogs Party Girl What a strange idea. I'm game. If you folks wanna email me a bunch of dumbass questions every weekend whan you should really be out getting laid then thats fine and dandy with me. And yes I was there. The Astoria right? I was the guy in the t shirt with the short sleeves. Were you the girl with the breasts? Mike is blogging to: headphones - the house is a tomb of REVISION now.

"..............." I was too busy to blog today and now I'm too angry. Johnny - i think I know who you hit and why. I hope you did break the fucker's nose. If I'd been there I could have worked on his ribs. Check your email and RING me. PS I may be seeing Turbonegro on Monday night - how quick can you get here from Australia? Mike is blogging to: nothing

"TAG! YOU'RE IT!" Pass it on: Hello there, If you haven't found out yet, there is a new Consolidated album available for free download on the website http://www.consolidatedmusic.org The title is "Free Music or Stockpiled Death". On behalf of Consolidated, enjoy! This album will not likely be made available on CD, so burning will be the only way to get it. If you can't burn a copy, you probably have a friend who can, so ask for some help. We hope you like the album. Awesome Mike is blogging to: nothing... yet

"BLUE IN THE FACE" Smoke is back in stock. Come in and buy one at Foyles or drop me a line and I'll send one out to you. Did I mention that John Constantine is in it yet? Mike is blogging to: The Misfits and other noise

"FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD" Tod McFarlane has gone to Oz: Dorothy and the Munchkins: The Lion: The Scarecrow: The Tinman: The wonderful Wizard of Oz: More shots (including Toto) can be found here. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"YOU TAKE THE HIGH ROAD" I completely forgot to mention the best thing that happened to me today / yesterday. Idiot. I bumped into an old friend at work. Hadn't seen her in over two years - maybe three. We worked together for about six months in my very first book shop in Kingston. It was an odd place with an odd group of people and to be honest if I hadn't been working with Maggs I may have quit and walked away with the totally wrong view of bookselling. She took me under her wing and taught me all the basics of the job. I still remember doing my first sub under her watchful eye - ha! It was so good to see her again today after we lost touch so long ago when we both moved on to other stores. Lots of catching up still to do. Yep - today was a fucking good day. Apart from Jess trying to swamp the machine with AOL hate babies... But I despatched them with my MIGHTY SWORD OF JUSTICE despite their eyeless dead wails and pleas for mercy. Fuckabunchofaolwank. I'll be pulling dead tendrils from my system all week. Those fuckers don't write software - they create plagues. Anyway - the morning is young and I have a sword to clean. Mike is blogging to: Tomahawk

"IT'S FULL OF STARS" AOL is a rancid cunt spewing forth disease and dead things. Like little corpse babies being propelled unseeing into the world by bloated death gases AOL software leaches across the interwebby as the rotting mother expands in the heat. Just thought I'd share. I just read a story about a missing space shuttle that came back. A beautiful slice of sci fi. I took the shroud down from the windows but I forgot the glare of London does the same job. Its still nice to know that there are twinkly things up there somewhere. The fact that they're out of reach makes them even more enticing don't you think? Mike is blogging to: nothing