"THERE IS NO SPOON" I did something very patriotic yesterday. While the rest of the country seemed obsessed with the Queen's jubilee and football matches in Japan I did something much more meaningful than waving a plastic flag or cheering on men in shorts. I watched a group of soldiers get ripped apart by werewolves. I didn't post at all yesterday because I was still shell-shocked. I wanted a little bit of time to pass so I could get some of the silly thoughts out of my head but here I am twenty four hours later and I�m still thinking the same thing. Dog Soldiers is the best British film I have ever seen. It could well be the best horror movie I have ever seen and I actually believe it's the best werewolf movie that I've ever seen. Let me put this in some kind of perspective. Dog Soldiers is a low budget British horror movie set in Scotland but filmed in Luxembourg. The film's total budget was probably the same as the catering costs for a days shooting on Attack of the Clones. It stars Sean Pertwee (the best thing in Event Horizon and son of Dr Who), Kevin McKidd (Trainspotting) and a small group of actors you�ll recognise from TV. It was directed and written by Neil Marshall and it was his first film. It�s better than An American Werewolf in London. If you know me at all you would know that I�d probably hit anyone else who said such an outrageous thing but Dog Soldiers is quite simply stunning and is the dogs bollocks of celluloid lycanthropy. It�s about a group of soldiers on manoeuvres in Scotland that come across the remains of a special forces team � they tend to stand in what�s left of them. They themselves are attacked and the survivors hold up in a house fifty miles from anywhere with dwindling ammunition and a full moon overhead. Oh - and they're missing the footy. It features a falling cow, guts being superglued back into stomachs, very impressive firefights and a heavy dose of football themed humour. I fucking hate football and I laughed out loud. I also jumped and swore a lot. The characters are well developed and the acting is great � Sean Pertwee and Kevin McKidd are exceptional. I read that when Pertwee told mates like Ewan McGregor the kind of film he was making they were jealous. Well maybe you shouldn�t have fucked off to the States to play cowboys and jedis then. It is low budget and in places a little rough round the edges but to be frank the only problem this movie has is perhaps being a little too ambitious and I would never criticise anyone for that. It�s full of jokes too � obvious ones like the name of one of the soldiers to less obvious ones like the piano piece that is played during the movie. It pays homage to The Matrix, Night of the Living Dead, Assault on Precinct 13, Southern Comfort, Aliens and others. Despite its hybrid list of influences it�s actually a lot better than most of those movies and I fucking love those movies. I can�t believe I left it so long to watch this movie. Phil told me that he knows Emma Cleasby who plays Megan in the movie � Phil you need to ring the girl up and tell her that she�s a fucking genius for taking this part... the whole cast and crew should be knighted for showing up not only the tattered remains of the British film industry but also the goliath American industry for the piece of fat shit that it is. People need to pay attention to this film and see what can be achieved if you love and believe in what you are doing. I got the same buzz watching this as I did the first time I saw The Evil Dead and I never thought I�d find a director to match Raimi in this country but Marshall is a fucking genius. Less money and more passion, less specail effects and more imagaination. Not a single CGI shot was used from what I could make out. The werewolves are kept off camera for a while and when we finally see them... well I was expecting to be disappointed but these wolves are pretty fucking cool. Ginger Snaps was marred by bad Buffy makeup and CGI in the final 15 minutes while An American Werewolf in Paris was a fucking abomination � especially the terrible CGI monsters. Blade II suffered from it � as does Spiderman from what I�ve seen and don�t get me started on the new Star Wars... CGI just isn�t there yet � and Dog Soldiers proves that it doesn�t matter. Who gives a fuck if you can create anything on a computer if it looks just like something that was created on a computer when you watch it. Give me a stomach of ill-bandaged guts and a curious border colley anytime. Have you noticed that I�m going on a little about this one? Its because you need to see it. I�ll be talking about this movie for the rest of the year. Feel free to disagree with me but you�ll be wrong... Mike is blogging to: Bitchin� Summer by The Bangs