"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, YOU PRIMITIVE SCREWHEAD?" A few months ago I wrote some not very nice things about Greece. "Athens - the armpit of the world - a big pile of decaying marble atop a hill with japanese tourists climbing all over it is not something to be proud of. Place is filthy, polluted and full of fucking morons... burn it to the ground and you'll make Mike a happier guy!" Yesterday I got hatemail about it so just in case I'd got the wrong idea about the place I checked out the Kathimerini newspaper to see what was currently going on in Argyris Alexandrou's wonderful country: "An Iraklion court yesterday convicted a 37-year-old man to four months in jail for the fatal sexual assault on a fellow villager's goat nearly three years ago. Dimitris Kiousis, an Athenian living in the Cretan village of Sykologos, near Viannos, assaulted the goat of Manolis Restivakis in March 2000 to take revenge on his fellow villager whose animals kept grazing on his land..." In response to the email Argyris you don't need to worry - I'll only come back to your lovely 'clean' country if I ever get the urge to fuck a goat. Mike is blogging to: Columbo