THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST I saw the Mel Gibson movie when I was in Australia but was unimpressed. Afterwards as we sat in a coffee shop I made these notes: THINGS I NOTICED WHILE WATCHING MEL GIBSON'S THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST 01 It's a man's life in the Roman army 02 Christ was not as cool as William Wallace 03 Or Max Rockatansky 04 All that crap lying around after the crucifixion would make a packet on eBay 05 The film ends with the perfect set up for a sequel -CHRIST II: THE REVENGE 06 People in cinemas don't like it if you laugh out loud at crucifixions 07 Judas didn't lose control of his bowels when he hung himself 08 Judas didn't get an erection when he hung himself 09 Barabbas would make a fine Pirate King 10 More pirates would have helped move the movie along 11 Jewish people are weird 12 Catholic people are weird 13 It would make a great reality tv show 14 JC had more flashbacks than Jerry Garcia 15 Pontius Pilot was cool 16 Not enough people name their kids JUDAS anymore 17 Marilyn Manson would have made a better Satan 18 Marilyn Manson would have made a better soundtrack 19 The scene in which JC invented tall tables and chairs was unnecessary 20 The Roman centurions could have been replaced with the crew of Ground Force: "We've got a cross to put up. I'm thinking MDF..." 21 Being a disciple sucks 22 Being the Son of God sucks 23 Breaking knee caps with hammers is a little like having to ring a bell at the fairground 24 It was better than Big Fish 25 Always stand well back after spearing a corpse 26 Worse things happen to pigs EVERY SINGLE DAY 27 Eye pecking always makes for movie magic 28 Hairy demonic children are people too 29 Life of Brian was funnier 30 Christ had a Neo complex 31 I should call this blog The Blog of The Mike 32 Just because a story is really old doesn't mean that it is any good 33 It was still better than going to Church Mike is blogging to: noisy mix CDs