�I HATE THESE RESURRECTIONS� Sizemore.co.uk is one year old today. Maybe having the fucking thing written on my arm will remind me to keep running it. I almost brought the whole thing down last week but have finally decided to keep it up for the duration no matter what. So it�s been an interesting year... a bit of a ramshackle one actually. Lots of travelling, lots of new friends, ups, downs and the loopy bits that make things so interesting. Here are a few lines from that first blog entry: �I'm sick of treading water here in London... I never wanted a career selling books... We are moving into a smaller place closer to the city centre in a few months and are still planning to move to San Francisco some time in the near future plus I want to get my PhD started...� Ha. So here I am still treading water. Still in London. Still in the same house. Still waiting to move. Some plans have changed � no move to San Francisco until Bush is out of office and I have no desire to lumber myself with a PhD. Not sure i ever did. So should I be pissed at the lack of progress here? I would be if I were still in Borders or any of other crappy �filler� jobs I�ve done in the last 12 months but I�ve happily landed at Foyles. The people I work with are very cool very laid back and good fun so I�m already having fun but a couple of days ago I was given the Graphic Novels section to look after too... Nerd heaven. In that post I mention most of the people I used to work with at Ottakar�s. Duncan is now married and living in Ethiopia. I�m typing it, I�m reading it but I�m not believing it. Awesome. Others I�ve lost touch with but Mark is still very much part of my circle and dragging me into chicken restaurants the first chance he gets. Everyone else I see from time to time and seem to be doing well. So about that new tattoo... The last couple of weeks as some of you know and as others have guessed from the lack of posting on here have been pretty fucking rough. Foyles aside a lot of stuff seemed to be simply fucked. I�ve finally got my head around a lot of that stuff but only after losing sight of a lot of the things I�ve always held dear. For a time there I didn�t like myself very much at all, fuck, I didn�t recognise myself. The tattoo was a way of reminding me to stick to my own moral code regardless of what was happening around me. Luckily working in central London I�ve already had a bunch of people who can read Kenji commenting on how it looks. I can honestly say that I have never had a bunch of girls come up to me and say �You have a beautiful arm!� before... I added the �sizemore� line today after a friend pointed out how easy it would be to build up the rest of the arm Memento style. Maybe my next one will simply read �Find him and kill him�. And onto the relationship stuff... Jess and I are no longer together. Well, we are trying to be �no longer together� but that seems just as fucking hard as breaking up was. Maybe things will be different in a few weeks or months or maybe we�ll just carry on with this strange limbo relationship for a while yet. No matter what it doesn�t change the short term plans � sell the fucking house, move to London Bridge and fuck off out of London. Jess is going to go to Mexico � if we are still hanging onto some kind of relationship or friendship by then then I�ll still be heading for Amsterdam. If the whole thing goes terribly wrong then I�ll stay in London for an extra year and then head off on my own. Now the heartache stuff has all been played out its good to be able to look at all the options as exciting. Later today/tomorrow I�ll recap on some of the other stuff I�ve been up to and fill in some of the blanks from the last week or so. Big thanks to all the people who kept coming to the site regardless of content and for all the email. Extra special thanks to DC Mike and Doria for helping me keep my head where it belonged. You guys rock � especially you missy :) So this is my first blog of Year Two - lets see if I can keep it going... Mike is blogging to: Maybe I�ll Catch Fire by The Alkaline Trio