CAROL Sunday night and we were back at the hospital. Jess' aunt has been in out of hospital since 2001 when part of her intestine ruptured. While we were stranded in San Francisco over 9-11 Carol was already in a coma. When we finally got home she was in the ICU and things looked bleak. Slowly though she fought back and soon enough her partner David had to try and explain how the world had changed in the weeks that she had been 'away'. Over the last few years Carol's health has been up and down. The stomach problems had come on top of kidney disease that she had been fighting for years but usually after a week or so in hospital and regular dialysis she was well enough to have her regular life back. Better than regular actually as she quit her teaching job and married David. When we heard she was back in hospital we, like her, were more annoyed than worried that yet another infection had found its way into her system. She was a little worse than we were expecting as we called on the ward while she was still waiting for her latest bout of pain killers to kick in. Jess' grandparents were already there and we were soon joined by David who brought a home cooked alternative to the swill that the NHS kitchens inflict on those too weak to complain. Carol was tired but pleased to see us, always pleased to see Jess. A couple of times when she just couldn't get comfortable I sat on the opposite side of her bed so she could use my back as a stronger support than the pillows. This way she was able to sit up out of bed and eat properly and I was glad we had decided to come at that time to give a break to Wilfred and Cecilia who are both in their nineties. Besides which it wasn't the first time I'd been called on to act as a pillow. When Carol was too tired we finally left and although she was obviously ill again we were looking forward to seeing her back at her home in the next few days. Yesterday afternoon I got the call from David telling me that Carol had died. The whole family is shocked but this has hit Jess particularly hard. After her mum died Carol was the aunt that stepped in and helped raise her. In the past few years they had grown even closer - not living in the same house sometimes helps family get along a lot better. The funeral is tomorrow and I'm guessing that any semblance of normality we have built up in the last twenty four hours will probably go to fuck first thing in the morning. Thanks for the email, text messages and phone calls and sorry to those that I haven't got back to yet. Give us until the end of the week and we'll be back in circulation. It's odd, but Carol's death has hit me a lot harder than the stuff that is going on up North with my immediate family at the moment. Carol accepted me into Jess' life straight away where a lot of other people would have had at least one or two reservations and in the years that I knew her she never failed to remind me that she considered me part of the family. She was smart (a teacher) and kind and loved Jess to pieces and it's unbelievable to think that she's not here anymore. She's probably the person I'll be looking for tomorrow to help me tie the damn knot in my stupid black tie. Mike is blogging to: nothing