Won't someone please think of the Pope...
Yesterday I wrote something for Londonist on Madonna and Guy Ritchie. You can read the post here.
You'll notice that some guy called Alex disagreed with my inclusion of the ailing Pope into the story.
Readers of this blog will find it unusual that I didn't offer a retort while sharp readers of this blog will notice that I did, but that it was later deleted.
That was the Londonist editor's call not mine. For what it's worth here is my reply in full:
Alex: The rules of reporting? I'm a blogger not a reporter.
Fuck the Pope, his array of hats and his little plastic bubble car.
I reserve the right to hate anyone who has done his level best to keep people in ignorance in order to maintain his own archaic station. That wheezing old bastard is quite happy to allow thousands of people to die in Africa rather than change position on condoms. Don't get me started on the Church's stance on gay marriage.
Perhaps the real reason he is so reluctant to let go of life himself is because he knows he's going somewhere hot.
Given time to reconsider I don't actually believe that the Pope will go to hell. He'll rot in the earth along with the rest of us - or get reduced to ash (how does one dispose of a dead Pope these days?) Everything else I said stands. Just not on the Londonist website.
Here's the email I got asking me to edit the comments I made:
Mike
On the Pope thing...I'm going to ask if you can reword that last comment - even though it's in the comments section and has your name attached, it's just a little too aggressive for Londonist and goes against the general tone of the site.
Make your point and by all means but try and avoid phrases like "fuck the pope"!
If you really want to get into it with this Alex guy then I'd suggest sending him an email.
I didn't want to just delete the comments so I though I'd email you first. Cheers Rob
and my reply:
Rob, I have no idea how to edit a comment and I'm not too sure I'd want to learn as I tend not to take back anything once it's been voiced.
Would a compromise not be a comment by yourself as Editor pointing out that I'm entitled to that opinion, but it doesn't reflect Londonist as a whole? Besides which it may look a little defensive to adjust that comment but leave the one above where some non-papal entity gets called a 'prick'.
I definitely wasn't being aggressive towards 'Alex' and don't see that phrase as aggressive at all as it simply pointed out that as a blogger (and not a reporter) I can make remarks that wouldn't normally see the light of day in a newspaper. Unless of course it's the New York Post Press:
http://nypress.com/18/9/news&columns/taibbi.cfm
From reading the other Ist sites I always felt that the comments sections were an 'anything goes' area and as such I'd be more than happy to voice all of the above if there is any further flak from readers.
But you're the boss and have full powers of deletion.
Mike
I have no problem with Rob deleting the post - he's the editor and calls the shots and he did further qualify his reasoning in a later email and again offered me the chance to simply edit out the offensive line. I'm just a stubborn fuck so I let the whole thing be deleted instead.
Of course, me being me I'm not going to let Alex' comments go unanswered - he called me a reporter... and no matter how much you love old Polish men with a tendency to overlook paeodophilia there's no need to get that personal.
So I've added a link back to this post where my original comment was and then if Alex (or anyone else) wants to pick this up they can do so right here well away from the Londonist umbrella.
Comments are open.
Mike is writing to Joe's Garage by Frank Zappa - I'm on a vinyl trip


16 Comments:
"i'm just a stubborn fuck"
You're only half right, pal.
You're just a fuck.
xxx
p.s i bet your moms basement is really really cold.
So I'm not stubborn?
My 'mom' doesn't have a basement, but the next time I speak to her I'll get her to turn the heating up. Thanks for your concern though.
Oh hang on... are you implying that I still live at home? Sorry to say that's mostly an American internet thing. I left home at 17 and currently live in a very nice apartment near the Thames.
I hope you get over your fear of machines very soon. One day they may be all that's keeping you alive. I mean look at the Pope (sorry to get back on topic), he loves that feeding tube shit...
hi hun,
me again...
awe shucks kiddo. mighty nice of you to reply.
so listen, you say you live in one of them council flats near the thames? must suit you down to the bone.
oh! mighty dark one. you're so mean. mean mean mean.
drowning little puppies in your spare time und all.
wait. i BET you have stayed up waaaayyy past midnight.
moved out when you were 17 eh'? But why? did mommy not like your star trek buddies eating all her iceland 2 for 1 meals? no. wait. i bet it's cause they took up all the couch space while she wanted to catch the last bit of Wife Swap...
nah. i'm not one for machines really. they might get stuck in my teeth. besides, pal.. i prefer human contact. you know... flesh and bones. not the pixel bitches you jerk off to 3-4 times a day.
caio baby
xx
and x
The problem with coming here loaded with preconceptions is that you just come off looking a little dim. You're posting to a blog that would easily set you right on a few of the clich�s that you are trying to assign to me if you just took the trouble to read it.
So no I don't live in a council flat. It's a two floor, three bedroom apartment worth around �430 thousand. You can move onto the poor little rich boy clich�s now.
Mean? Drowning puppies? Not really. Out spoken and annoying certainly, but kind of nice when you get to know me. And as a fully paid up member of PETA I'd rather be saving the puppies.
Moved out at 17 because I lived in a shitty town and wanted to go to university and live in London. Don't think I had any Star Trek buddies when I was a kid. TNG didn't start until I left home and Wife Swap is only a few years old so I have no idea if my mum watches it or not. Not mad on the Star Trek anyway. Wrath of Khan was awesome though.
Surprisingly enough I do know a few people made of that flesh and bone stuff. Pixel bitches? Why so harsh on the good women of the Interweb? Suddenly you're the one trying to sound 'mean'? Strange, but I don't know a thing about you so I'll resist throwing a bunch of crap at you.
You really want to know how many times I jerk off? Dude, I'm 32 not 17 and I'm more than happy with the flesh and blood girlfriend I live this pretty neat lifestyle with. And I'm sorry to add that last night we were in bed probably before 11pm, but I'll still give you points on the staying up past midnight thing. You got me there.
Hey,
just wanted to say mr(?) "machine" is a moron, and if he didn't mention so much brit-specific food and TV, i would think he lives here in the states with all of his idiotic bretheren.
I think you have every right to say whatever you like about whoever you want. I only found this site when i googled "fuck the pope". I've been saying it all week, and really wish his religion went down the drain with him. Much like your "royal family" I see it as an awful reminder of an age when a few people hold tremendous power over large parts of the world, solely for their own personal enrichment. The fact that they leave a guy who cant speak or barely move on his own in charge of one of the worlds biggest scams-i mean "religions", should serve as a wake-up call to catholics. But he got a pretty cushy gig, travelling the world, not paying for a thing, LITERALLY having everyone kiss everything but your ass, where the only way out is in a box. Yeah, he was in some pain for a short while. But if he were anyone else, living in Poland, he probably would have kicked years ago.
So, say what you like, and to "machine" and everyone else screaming about how much we should love and worship the pope or any other person propped up as a figurehead, FUCK YOU.
think for yourself, from west coast USA
Mike, I have to respectfully disagree with you.
If there is an afterlife, and it is just, I do believe (hope?) that JP2 will end up somewhere rotten, for all the reasons you mentioned and more besides. I only wish he'd suffered longer, as so many people denied euthanasia by his fucked-up religion must suffer.
Thanks for being an "-ist" with the balls to say so, and to stand up for that. And as I've said so many times, so hoping you and your flesh-and-blood girlfriend end up out our aggressive way (all respect to Londonist of course, we're just nastier in SF. Must be all the pixel bitches out here), but I make no promises you'll end up with an apartment even close to as nice as the one you have in London. Sorry.
Best, as always,
Eve
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hey Eve! I deleted the repeated post - the Blogger commenting system still sucks.
JP2! Now if only he'd have called himself that and worn black occasionally I may have liked him more. For him it seems the afterlife consists of being displayed like a side of beef for people to Flickr. I heard today that Poland wants at least a "part" of him to bury back home - way to get with the 21st century.
Good to know you have my back for my next trip to SF! Maybe I can do a guest post on the upcoming Bush Assassination. You know the guy has to go out on a high.
Hey AntiFlag - I'm glad to hear that I am still on top of Google when it comes to important Papal matters. Fits snugly along with all the hits I get for "ass eels". Thanks for the comments - propped up seems very appropriate at the moment. Now if you'll excuse me I have a Royal Wedding and a general election to prepare for...
hi eve!
Nice of you to join us!
Man, this would almost be great if it wasn't so sad.
Don't worry - i've got time for you both. The two of you need all the support you can get. After all, life must be tough for angry bunnies like yourselves.
Mike.. i think i got it figured out now. You remind me of that guy, you know.. there's always this fucken prat talking way to loud, saying things that most people don't really want to hear. mostly you find these guys sitting round a bar muttering to themselves, mostly.. just loud enough for others to make out.. thats you buddy.
oh please. so.. your girlfriend no longer charges by the hour... and your �430 k flaff provides a dry place for you to put all your attitude magazines.. thats nice.
real nice. happy for you mikey.
just a pity you can't afford a personality.
blogging isn't a valid form of anything really. it's like finding a page from someones diary.. the kind of onesided drivvel folks should keep in the attic. but no - you're here. just look at the pope - he never had a blog and for real, millions of people loved him.
Eve - who loves ya hunny?
ME!
Lets talk soon you hear.. :)
x
Sure you have me figured out. The same way Bush had Iraq figured out. What is this, your third attempt to try and pin me down? So yeah I'm a loudmouthed drunk now. Can't wait to see what zinger you hit me with next. Maybe I'm hiding WMDs under the blog or perhaps you're here to liberate everyone else from my tyrannical rule.
Yep, millions of people loved the Pope. He was as popular as McDonalds and about as good for them.
And yeah blogs are a flash in the pan, yadda yadda. And yet they still attract people like you. Weird.
yup.
uh huh.
but i mostly pop round when i want to feel better about myself.
i like the way you compare what we are doing here to the situation in iraq.
you're not so much the loudmouthed drunk than the guy at the end of the bar that mutters to himself..
hey listen man. i'm sure you're a good, well adjusted chap - but you can't just go round taking cheap shots at people and their beliefs. i realise you're probably entitled to your opinion - even if sometimes you shit from your mouth right onto the screen and you make me want to puke because you are a coward KIK*"$�(*
But hey who isn't.. :)
not really bothered bout the pope or your stash of WD 40 WMD's - but i tell ya what does get me all riled up -
thats people like you who sit back all smug and feeling like such champs cause they managed to offend something
and boy oh boy look at what a clever piece of work i am yay for me i'll just say the wrong thing and get right in their hostile little faces.
your online persona must be very different from the one you have offline. obviously you're trying to make up for your ineffectual offline existence by being extra spicy online... and fair play. what ever you like.. just don't go picking on people
who are obviously upset over the pope .. or the cost of spandex in the third world.. its not! cool. :)
okay then.
It's a good thing Dougie didn't write Microserfs after blogs became so popular.. it might have been a completely different book. anyway
i digress
caio - are you listening to what i'm saying?
always a pleasure, pal.
so long.
xooooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/120103/published-by-blogger.gif
"i like the way you compare what we are doing here to the situation in iraq."
Well cool, but that's not what I did. What I did was compare you fumbling for a take on me to the Bush administration fumbling for a take on Iraq.
"you can't just go round taking cheap shots at people and their beliefs"
Are you sure about that? It seems I can say whatever I like both off and online. The cheap shot is I'm glad the Pope is dead. The reason I'm glad he's dead is because he was a cunt - that's less of a cheap shot because it's true. If people want to believe that he was the best thing since sliced bread that's cool, but I'm not going to quit in my belief that the world would have been a much better place if that bullet he took had done its job properly.
So in what way am I a coward? If I'd met you in that bar I'm always muttering away in then I'd have said the very same thing to your face. You're not the first person to make the mistake that I have some kind of online personality that is far removed from how I am in real life and you won't be the last. If I say it on here then odds are I've said it out in the world too. I'm not the shy retiring type and I'd be glad to discuss this in person if you ever get bored of coming by - seeing as you hate the medium and all. Then again if you find what I have to say on here annoying I doubt I'd win you over offline.
"don't go picking on people who are obviously upset over the pope"
I wasn't aware that I was picking on anyone who was upset over the Pope and it's not like I took my opinions over to the Papal Love forum. I attacked the man himself and none of his sheep. If you or anyone else are offended by what I have to say then feel free to stop reading.
Coupland is writing a sequel to Microserfs right now. It'll be interesting to see if blogging features in it at all...
just a pity you can't afford a personality. - that guy who doesn't give his name to machines.
firstly, Mike is a rock star to me. His attitude is an anthem. So you can fuck off, you anonymous weasel.
if you had half a personality you wouldn't hide BEHIND A MACHINE.
By the way, Google logged your IP address. Do you surf your porn from home?
Oh yeah, now you'll come on MY blog and stink.
*smokes a cigarette*
*pours some coffee*
funny you should ask, i was just about to snap a batch right now...
Ghe-oog-el logged your eye pee.
ghooogle, it's gone and logged my ip.
*ponder*
ah christ. thank FUCK for that! i thought i'd lost IT!!!
you're about as smart as you are funny pal. and i don't see anybody laughing.
except me. and i'm laughinhhhhggg at you baby.
har har har
chuckle. chuckle. kerfunk. bwahahahaha.
honestly. all those third worlders dying of aids and thank FUCK my IP HAS BEEN LOGGED!
xx
x
So.. mike is your hero.
his voice is your anthem.
really. thats just great, pal.
hows that working out for ya baby?
honestly.
i just can't.
not anymore.
it's.. i dunno. you guys. really.
c'mon.
really!
Post a Comment
<< Home