Archives are still screwy. I am going to track down the cunt who changed things THE WAY I LIKED THEM and make him suck my fuck. I have no idea what that means but I am hoping I will enjoy it and he will not. I need WEAPONS and a LONG SHIP

Ok. That is more like it. Still need to recode the archives and bring the rest of the site inline but that's a job for late this evening. I'm going to be a tad busy up until then. We are launching the new Jasper Fforde novel this evening so I'm off to that straight after work. Technically it is still work but seeing as I'm a fan it doesn't really count. We just set up events with both Chuck Palahniuk and Douglas Coupland for later in the year too but I won't bore you all again by telling you how cool my job is. Yesterday was a lot of fun. Jess and I went to Green Park for a picnic (via the HMV sale) and sat around and read while two girls screamed ar each other in the distance. Afterwards we came home for Space:1999 and Spanish horror movies. I wish there were more days like yesterday... Mike is blogging to: nothing

I am going to spend the rest of this evening working on something new for the blog. I kind of like this forced simplicity but I need a way to link in all my other crap without the place getting too cluttered. It's been a while since I stayed up and worked. There is a storm on the way and I have all the windows open... The breeze is meeting the music on the way out - I have it cranked pretty loud this evening "I typed for miles - you just stood there..." Seems appropriate More later. Mike is blogging to: Jets to Brazil

Blogger is a big piece of shit. It destroyed my code. Bastard. My mood is very dark

"PRECINCT 13" I'm going to be more bruised than a UK soldier in an Iraqi police station: ANTHRAX Astoria - London FRI 04/07/2003 TURBO NEGRO Mean Fiddler - London SAT 05/07/2003 ROLLINS BAND/BLACK FLAG Astoria - London THU 10/07/2003 TOMAHAWK + THE MELVINS The Forum London FRI 18/07/2003 ALKALINE TRIO Astoria - London SAT 20/09/2003 THE CRAMPS Astoria - London SAT 27/09/2003 Mike is blogging to: nothing

"I PLAN ON WRITING AN EPIC POEM ABOUT THIS GORGEOUS PIE" I think there are now more people I know with blogs than without. Check out Bursted Bubbles On-Line Pie Moratorium a new endeavour by The Ost. I can see I am going to have to up my game to stay ahead of all these insane types... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"WHAT'S A FUCKING PIZZA?" So Blogger spent the best part of yesterday migrating my site to the new format which meant I couldn't post. I guess I should be thankful they finally upgraded the service but it was a tad frustrating: 11:00 AM PDT: Your blog is currently being converted to a new-and-improved version of Blogger. Please bear with us. It should be back later today. Anyway, this is what I wrote yesterday but couldn�t upload: ��������������������� Did I mention Dirty Deeds already? Sorry if I'm repeating myself. Last few days have been a bit of a blur but I think I am finally over mystery illness #428. I had some good news today in that Duncan is heading back to the motherland for a few weeks. I haven't got back to him yet but I'm hoping he'll be able to crash here for a portion of his 'holiday'. Will be good to see him again. Johnny, my denim obsessed U-Boat commander from the other side of the world, now has an outpost right here on the Internet. Just when you thought this place couldn�t get any stranger here comes Johnny. Knowing Von Kobra it won't be long before that site degenerates into madness. Jess and I are going to try and get to Spain in the next couple of months so that's cool. She's still off to Mexico but I think that will happen in September now. And that leaves December for the USA. Should be a fun way to round off the year. Before that we have a bunch of people coming to stay, which means I'll be able to act all Basil Fawlty with them all. On the train today every other fucker was reading Harry Potter. It's like a plague. Or the Lotus Eaters in The Odyssey perhaps... I was in total Donald 'Bodysnatchers' Sutherland mode by the time I got to work. Not that a bookstore is the best place to try and escape the little four-eyed bastard. ��������������������� Since then I have learned of yet another visitor who may be crashing here but I can't say anymore because it's a SECRET. And from this side of the screen the Blogger interface seems pretty cool. I'm sure I'll find something to complain about later... Mike is blogging to: nothing

�SNAILS!� Nature has been trying to kill me again. I do like nature. I love the fact that we seem to have the largest garden in London and that foxes live there along with just about every other animal that has starred in a children�s picture book. And the birds would make Hitchcock itchy � if I saw Bill Oddie lurking near the pond I wouldn�t be surprised at all. But I like looking at all this stuff through the window. I feel like one of the characters in that Stephen King story The Mist. As long as we can keep them out there there is hope. Of course every now and again I have to venture out and face the horror. This morning for example I found that the sun had done it�s job and dried out my washing � but I also discovered that snails had decided to nest in the crotch of my trouser after racing like Smokey and the Bandit around the legs leaving silver trails of mucus everywhere. It was all the shiny stains down the front of the trousers that had sent them to the washing machine in the first place. I have also lost a t-shirt somewhere out in the wilderness. If I see a badger wearing it I will be vexed. On a happier note, Johnny rang me all the way from Convict Island. Yet another madman who sounds very nice on the telephone. I am aiming to get to Oz sometime next year. Between Frank and Johnny it should be a fun trip. I am going to see Tomahawk, The Cramps and The Rollins Band/Black Flag shows. I�ll probably be at the Turbonegro and The Weakerthans gigs too. If you are going to any of those drop me a line and we can hook up. Jess seemed to have a good day at work so we relaxed at home with a Kitano movie and some nice food... Life is good. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"MY TEAM IS WAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER MACHINE AND GERM WARFARE DIVISIONS!" Jess got a job! From only her second interview no less! And it's a very sweet deal working in publishing! And she gets to write! And she gets paid more than I do! CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS!!! In other Mike related news... I feel better today. Still a little worn out and rough around the edges but much better than yesterday which is good. Doc got back home safe and sound from the hell that is The Verge and had much more to say about the gig than my ill-brain could manage yesterday: "People danced, shouted along at the tops of their lungs, sang along when I held out the mic, fell over and got crushed against the monitors, laughed, smiled from the sidelines and generally did their best to achieve ALL. I had an absolute blast singing the songs and was blown away by people's enthusiasm and kind words afterwards not to mention to hugs and offers of intercourse." Just for the record I never said I'd have full sex with the guy. I only smooch on a first date... Laura has now moved in with us and taken over Duncan's old room. Fun to have someone else in the house again. The girls are now watching Spanish movies and I'm trying to type quietly so as not to disturb them. I met Glen Duncan the other day. I get to meet a lot of authors which is cool (although some of them can be pricks - hello Richard Price) and its always fun to chat with them. The weird thing about meeting Glen Duncan is that he already knew my name. Seems he'd already read my views on his book over on Bookslut and as I was perhaps the first person to review it he remembered it well. We spoke for a while about the book and his hopes for it and writing in general. Nice guy. You should buy his book. I finished Twenty Years After and am now having a break from Dumas with The Dice Man. Still knocking around ideas for the PhD... More later. Mike is blogging to: Almodovar

"KIRK TO BRIDGE" It's always odd when you meet someone for the first time who previously had only been a bunch of pixels: I'm happy to report that Doc is the standup guy I always took him for. Saw him do the Descendage thing last night at The Verve and it was fucking great. Jess said he was very "blokey" which i think is probably a Jessism for HOTT. Probably his manly northern accent... Not been up to much else as I have been feeling crappy and ill for a few days. Still feel like crap today. Am going to watch Brian Blessed in the hope that the bellowing noise will make me feel more human. Mike is blogging to: Gang of Cats by eighty six

"GOOD LUCK!" I still have no idea why so many of you called by yesterday. I have a feeling that someone BIG linked to me. I'll investigate further this evening... Jess is soon off to her interview with a very cool Japanese publisher. Exciting stuff. I am fast coming to the close of Twenty Years After so will have to start thinking about tracking down the books that bridge the gap up to The Man in the Iron Mask. Day off today which is very cool. I need a break from gently pointing out to people that Stonehenge isn't actually in London... Mike is blogging to: Jawbreaker

"GO AWAY" Had to happen sooner or later. The site was down for most of today because there are just too many of you. Hmmm I am going to have discourage you from now on... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"I HOPE IT'S THE LAST, BUT GIVEN THE ATTITUDE OF THE EVIL-DOERS, IT MAY NOT BE" Almost late for work... Noticed my archives were all fucked up as usual. Bloody Blogger. In fixing them I dipped into my blog from this time last year and found: Is the Playstation II a lot better than the Playstation? Only in the same way that having sex with a real woman is better than sticking your cock between the bed and the mattress and using your imagination. Andy � still using a Nintendo? Damn � that�s like sticking your cock in the dog�s mouth � feels good initially but something somewhere just isn�t quite right. I must ring Andy and find out if he is still doing sick and twisted things with his horrible console... Gotta run... Mike is blogging to: nothing

�DON�T POINT THAT BEARD AT ME! IT MIGHT GO OFF!� Did I mention that my furry parts are at the moment modelled on this fine body of a man? I�m not quite there yet. Still recovering from the naked chin horror� Another week or so and I can start shopping for the large hat and even larger feather. As I have never been what you would call exactly �fashion conscious� I sometimes worry that Jess may again come to her senses and dump my non-GQ reading arse. But now that I have modelled myself on a look from 1973 which was itself based upon characters written about in 1844 for a story set in 1626 I feel I have at last found myself on the cutting edge of fashion and have nothing to worry about. Plus it�s hard not to like a man with a sword. And now something about doggies. John from Australia got in touch with me last week after stumbling into the blog. This place is like an international bear-trap. I bet some of you are even now attempting to chew your own hands off to get away from me�. Anyway, John breeds, shows and feeds (at the moment) 23 Samoyeds. I mentioned this beautiful breed of dog a while back and now John has been giving me lots of extra info on them. 23! Oh and did I mention the puppy pictures? Those guys are cuter than me� Gone nine am and I have to go and get myself to work. Should be a fun day as we have new staff starting and I can start leading them astray. Mike is blogging to: nothing

"CANADIANS, AUSTRALIANS, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?" Duncan had to go all the way to Ethiopia to find someone who didn't like 'Jimmy Corrigan'. Goddamn Canadians. I'm going to send him a copy of 'Clumsy' by Jeffrey Brown which I just read and is beautifully sad: If the Canadians don't like it they must be pod-people and should be burned at the first opportunity. I haven't mentioned Duncan's blog in a while but I hope some of you are reading it. I caught up with it on Saturday afternoon and its one of my favourite reads. This has nothing to do with knowing the guy or the fact that its a unique blog. Its just too fucking good to ignore: Anu�s Iskista teacher, Netsanet, has her cousin here from Debre Markos. She is about 18 and 4 months pregnant from a rape at a party. She seriously believes that if her father knows he will kill her. If the people of Debre Markos know she has had an abortion she will be a �dirty� girl, have no chance of marriage and bring shame upon her family. Sounds like Texas. Not only is his writing some of the best I've read in a long time he is actually doing something with his life that most of us would run a mile from.. Overachieving bastard even has a beautiful wife :) I am going to go and sulk now. Mike is blogging to: Aphex Twin

"YOU ARE A GOD AMONG INSECTS. NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT" James posted the following question over on his website: What do you like about Britain? Not much. But here you go... 1. It's not Greece (but we do have their marbles - ha!) 2. We have actors that actually act (although they usually fuck off the first chance they get) 3. It is very very old (but in all honesty should probably be put out of its misery) 4. Black Sabbath (the last good British band) 5. I can leave anytime I want (and I am making plans...) And now my own question: What do I like about summer? Not a single fucking thing. Some kind of bug just surfaced in my orange juice and wriggled its antenna at me. Where was the nuclear winter I was promised? Bah! Mike is blogging to: The Bellrays

"WE'RE WIDE AWAKE!" I let my Clie run down over the last two days and now I have to recharge the little guy from scratch. I feel like I've killed my tamagotchi. Last night we watched The Four Musketeers which cuts even more corners than the first movie but is awesome. Oliver Reed of course has all the good lines and the best scene in the movie is when he points a pistol at Faye Dunaway: "Have you ever seen a woman shot in the stomach?" Awesome. The weather outside is beautiful. Thankfully I am enclosed in my Foyles bubble so most of the people I'll meet today will at least have the ability to read. From my seat here I can watch the rest of London stagger past, exposed and sun blistered, scraping their knuckles on the filthy streets. The best part of today was waking up. I usually hate forcing myself out of my pit but Jess had made a great CD to wake up to. While the rest of the country rots its collective brains with radio DJs and advertising we had the pleasure of the following tracks: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - AC/DC We've Had Enough - Alkaline Trio Solitary Man - Johnny Cash Well Well Well - Le Tigre No Hero - The Offspring Go Shopping - Bran Van 3000 Electric Head - White Zombie Gotta Go - Agnostic Front Roller Girl - USS Friendship This Is How You Remind Me - Nickleback Every Thug Needs A Lady - Alkaline Trio Where Eagles Dare - The Misfits Backseat Education - Zodiac Mindwarp Black Rabbit - Turbonegro Stand Up and Shout - Dio Last Piece - GTO Walking in LA - Missing Persons Take the Power Back - Rage Against The Machine Youth Gone Wild - Skid Row Hey Chico! - Sona Fariq Sheena is a Punk Rocker - The Ramones Needless to say I was almost late for work... Mike is blogging to: a nice quiet Saturday morning on Charing Cross Road

"I JUST CHUG-A-LUG-O MY COFFEE MUG" Like The Descendents? Sure you do. Then I'll see you at my mate Doc's upcoming London gig right? Mike is blogging to: nothing

"THE SUN IS OUT, BIRDS ARE SINGING, BEES ARE TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM - AS IS MY UNDERSTANDING..." Feeling better. I had to play host to people looking around the house and a girl on a moped who wanted to take down my measurements. Summer can just go and fuck off back to where it came from as far as I am concerned. I do not need: 1. Hay fever 2. Pasty white people showing me their flabby underbits 3. Car radios 4. Bugs 5. Nature in general. Come on November - get here quick and send these idiots back inside with their SKY Sports where they belong. I am making soup. Gregory Peck died which has made me very sad. I may have to watch The Omen later. And... I'm bored with aluding to this in random emails so for the record: Yes - Jess and I are back together. Taking it slow but its a nice feeling. No doubt all my female fans will want to go and walk in traffic at this news but I'm hoping that recent progression in cloning techniques will one day make me available to you all. Scary thoughts... Mike is blogging to: Agnostic Front

"............." I'm sick and it sucks. I only just realised that today is Friday. Where the hell did Thursday go? My head and everything below it aches like hell. I seem to have spent just about all of yesterday sleeping. This was good because of all the weird dreams - especially the one with Jerry Lewis. Blech! I'll be back when I feel better... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"GEORGE IS GONNA LET ME TEND THE RABBITS" I have been working on and off (mostly off) trying to get some content together for Spinejack - my much laboured and often near death new project. This week I finally decided that I had enough material to start FTPing the fucker. In fact I was going to spend a great portion of tomorrow doing just that and then working out the design. I was hoping to have the first incarnation of the thing online and clickable by July 1st. The best laid plans of Mike and men... Yesterday I read something that put a sudden halt to the whole caboodle. I have now decided to tackle the thing from a different angle. It means starting from scratch which is annoying and more than a little frustrating but I think the end result will be more interesting. If I ever finsih the bastard. Back to the drawing board... Mike is blogging to: noise

"ALL FOR ONE..." I finished The Three Musketeers yesterday and even though I knew the ending was coming it was still devestating. "A sigh escaped from Madame Bonacieux's lips, which d'Artagnan felt like a gentle breath on his cheek. That sigh was Constance's pure, loving soul escaping from its mortal coil and mounting to heaven." Not a dry eye in the house. I immediately re-watched Richard Lester's version with Oliver Reed and Michael York (also: Roy Kinnear, Raquel Welch, Richard Chamberlain, Frank Finlay, Christopher Lee, Spike Milligan, Faye Dunaway, Charlton Heston and the voice of Richard Briers - what a cast!). Like the novel, it's as much fun as I remember from first seeing it as a youngster. Maybe a touch too much slapstick (probably left over from the fact that it was originally conceived as a Beatles movie - what a horrible idea) but all the scenes with Oliver Reed are wonderful. It's especially good after reading Reed's biography. It turns out that he refused to train with the rest of the cast finding the whole thing too tedious. This resulted in very nervous stuntmen drawing straws to see which of them would have to face him. You can see how terrified they are as Reed hurls himself at them, improvising sword moves and screaming all the time. Awesome. It seems a lot of the time Reed is forced to drop his sword and use less lethal objects before the stunt guys will go anywhere near him. This results in one poor bastard getting a very severe SLAP in the chops with a wet shirt. Wonderful. I am already well into Twenty Years After. I guess I don't want these adventures to come to an end... Which reminds me. Yesterday I found out that my friend Johnny in Australia never finished reading Preacher: "I dun wanna ever feel like Jesse and Tulip had an end. They are the best romantic couple in fiction since Sailor an Lula. Bless em. I just have it goin on forever in me head..." I always thought that Johnny's head would be a scary place to visit but now I'm not so sure. I need to convince the fucker to finish it because I think he will be surprised how it all turns out... More later. Mike is blogging to: The Pixies

"THE TRAVELLER RETURNS Hello Lucie! Welcome back from holiday - you haven't missed a damn thing... Mike is blogging to: the buzz of Monday morning commerce

"HE'S MORE MACHINE NOW THAN MAN. TWISTED AND EVIL" There are a lot of websites out there that are better than mine. That's a little like saying there are a lot of planets out there that don't support life. Anyway... where the fuck was I going with this? Oh yeah... I don't have the time, the space or the coffee fueled energy to list them all. I do my best with the Blog Stuff list to the right and I link stuff up whenever I can. Say something nice about me though and you'll get an extra special mention... I think I probably name-checked James Lomax's Recumbent Gaze before now and there is a permanent link to it too but I just found out that, nice guy as he is, he had the following to say about little old me: I recently discovered Mike Atherton's site (not "the twat with a bat", as he himself says), and enjoy it for similar reasons to Scary Duck. It's a refreshing personal voice, which manages to amuse. He appears to spend a third of his life on the Internet - staying up into the early hours - a third of it reading books, and the rest working at Foyles in London. And the latter provides him with interesting stories worthy of top level media comment - like meeting Gerry Adams - and yet here he is, this nondescript dude (sorry Mike - but you see what I mean?), recounting his days. It is again amateurish, by which I mean it has more charm and interest than the slickly professional fare which is more commonly high-profile. The Web, you see, was supposed to be like this, an accessible medium giving a public voice to you, me, and anyone else with a connected computer... No need to apologise - 'nondescript dude' is the nicest thing anyone has had to say about me in ages. So... if any of you guys come here looking for cutting commentary or well written articles then just go to James' site instead. I'm more of your 'In Case of Fuckwit Emergency - Break Glass' type of blog. I do occasionally post photographs of girls in Star Wars fetish gear though: Hey - does this mean that I am not slickly professional and high-profile? Humbug... Mike is blogging to: nothing

"IF YOU'RE WALKIN' ON EGGS, DON'T HOP" Busy couple of days. I'll try and update this again later but as I'm working again tomorrow it may not happen. I need to get some writing done. I guess the biggest news is that I'm going to attempt to start my PhD this year. My subject is all over the place at the moment but once I narrow it down some I'll bore you all to death with it. I'm writing this outside. On one side of me is the cat while to my right a fox cub is sitting and staring at me like I don't belong here. Cute little bastard. The sad part of today was seeing the aftermath of an accident right outside of the store. A woman fell from the back of a bus. This being London the place was soon crowded with tourists and gawkers. A motorcycle paramedic was there within a few minutes. Then the police and the ambulance. Then more police. Then the helicopter. He made a good stab at landing right on Charing Cross Road but we were too tight. He touched down further up just outside Les Mis�rables with not a lot of room between the rotor and lamposts. They had to work on the woman right out in the street. It was a good thirty minutes before they moved her to the helicopter. Hope she was ok... That's all for now. I'm going to cheer myself up by talking to the fox. Mike is blogging to: nothing but nature

"Yes, I know what a pram is, fucktard"

"A CRY IN THE DARK" Transformer Dru *nowwithkungfugrip : i don't why i am worried about being mentioned in someone's BLOG its not like some really hot person is going to be like "oh, i read about a dru on some blog, he sounds hott" at least thats what i imagine would be written about me. HOTT If anyone out there is HOT and would like to let me know that they think Dru is HOTT please write to me at the usual address. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Mike is blogging to: The Exorcist soundtrack

"I'M WAITING FOR MY BOYFRIEND" Ok. I'll ramble on about Dolls later tonight - but for now just go see it. It's awesome. My email is screwed. I'll be up and running again this evening but don't be pissed at me if I owe you a reply. The website has been getting a lot more traffic and I'm getting lost under the mail avalanche. My attachments don't work which would be a funny line if I lived in a 'Carry On' movie. I need a filthy assistant. Finally started pushing forward again with the house sale/rental. Not too sure if we will be aiming for London Bridge anymore but wherever we end up it will be PLUSH. That's all for now - I have work to do. Oh. Craig, I got the feedback form you sent. Thanks. I can't remember if you included your email address or not. If you did I'll write back if not I just wanted to say Hi. Oh 2. All the 'video' requests I've had will be responded to this evening. Does anyone know if UK VHS will work out in Singapore? Mike is blogging to: Walk Among Us by The Misfits

"................" Fucking hell But that was good. More later when I am awake Mike is blogging to: nothing